Reflections

This was a Crazy Weekend for our little Family, but it really has me reflecting on my life, and the life of my children. Most of you who read this didn't know, but We were expecting our third child. We have been SUPER Excited to have a perfect addition to our family, but life doesn't always go as you plan. Everything happens for a reason, and for one reason or another, this baby wasn't ready yet to join our family. Friday I went into the Doctor for a checkup (i had been lightly spotting, and just wanted to make sure everything was alright) and I found out our baby's heart wasn't beating. Devistated is really the only word that can describe how I was feeling. Shock, Sadness, Fear, Depressed (okay Lots of words can describe how I was Feeling) I Was all alone, because I told Adam it wasn't a big deal, and he really needed to go to work, and I was in Shock~ I called Adam, and of coarse he drove straight there to be at my side. I have a weird blood type, so they made me go to the hospital and do a bunch of tests, and do two more ultrasounds, just to make sure that our baby was truely gone. They told me I could go home and check back w/ the doctor after the weekend, and my "miscarriage" would hopefully pass on its own. Well things have never ran smoothly for us, and this was no exception. I ended up Bleeding...alot. All nite. I bled so much that I passed out. Like totally out. I woke up to find Adam and my mom standing in front of me in the bathroom, trying to wake me up. They say I was out for five or ten minutes, but who knows...time seems to pass slow when things are crazy and scary around you. I will spare you the details, but lets just say, I was thankful my babies were sleeping as they loaded me up in the ambulance and rushed me to the hospital. Everything after that is kind of a blur....I am home now. Grateful to be home, Thankful for the Help, and the prayers I know that I have recieved. Thankful for My Husband, who has been at my side...Waking up at least three times a nite, to make sure I have taken my medicine...making sure I am comfortable , making sure I am here. Thankful for my mom...Thankful she heard my plea for help, and Thankful that she was able to be here to help w/ my kids, thankful for everything...But More then Anything I am Grateful that I am still here...Grateful that I was given the responsibility to care for this perfect little family. I think sometimes it takes scary things to WAKE you UP! Make you realize the blessings that you have been blessed with are truely BLESSINGS...and you never know when things are going to happen, and your "blessings" can be taken away. There are so many distractions in life, things that take you away from the things in life that are really important. To me my family is everything. I hope that I can live my life in a way that shows my kids and my husband they are my priority. They are my everything. and sometimes Eternity doesn't feel long enough. Anyways~ That is my story...Probably should have waited until I was off the Pain Meds to write it, but I just want it written down how much I LOVE my family. How Much I love my Father in Heaven, and how Grateful I am that He was looking out for us this weekend. Losing my baby makes me Sad, But I know that Things happen for a reason, and I am Truely Blessed.